I am embarking on a journey..

On Monday I announced to the Facebook world that I was beginning down yet another road of weight loss.. I have been down this road many times, with very limited success, and over the past 3 - 4 years I have yo-yo'd in silence, not daring to tell anyone outside of my family that I was dieting or exercising, because deep down I knew I would fail. The only time this has ever worked for me was when I completed the Sureslim programme. I lost 25kgs, and while a bit has gone back on I have never returned to when I was at my biggest, the difference then was attitude, and having my head in the right place. And I guess that is what feel different this time too. My head feels ready. But I had to "out myself", make it public, because I need to have a resistance to give it away as soon as it gets difficult, or boring, and having people know will mean I will publicly fail if I lose my motivation, and I don't want to do that.

Over the past couple of weeks a couple of "signs" have been pointing at me. I was up late and watched a programme on Big Beautiful Women who are internet sensations and eat and perform fetishes for men. Look, I believe each to their own - and if they are happy, it is entirely their business and who am I to judge - but that was the first sign for me things needed to change. Secondly I saw another programme Extreme Makeover Weight Loss edition. The woman on this programme was given all the support and resources in the world and she threw it back in their faces. I felt so grumpy because if I had that level of support I would have embraced the opportunity. Finally, my friend has a daughter who is a personal trainer, she posted something on Facebook that just resonated with me - The only difference between FIT and FAT is I

In undertaking this journey I am not judging anyone else! We all come in different packages, we all have our reasons in life, and each of us are individuals.. This is about me, and how I feel about me. I'm not happy with my size, it doesn't mean I look at anyone else this size and judge - I love my friends regardless of size! It's just that I need to do this.

The response to my announcement has blown me away! My Facebook friends have been SO encouraging, supportive and motivating, sending private messages and texts and posting on my wall. I humiliated myself and put up photos in my exercise gear.. not my finest hour - but I want to be able to post progress photos and eventually look at them and know I succeeded. I feel a bit sick about them being on there.. but once again I have had such lovely comments and encouragement that I feel supported as I embark on this journey. Have you ever wondered about turning up at your funeral to see who cared enough to be there?? Well this is a much nicer feeling than that - I have had a window into the people who care about me this week and I haven't had to go to the awful inconvenience of dying! 

SO - I am doing this for me - but I have such an awesome support crew behind me - from so many places in the world, that I'm doing it for them too!!

K